I’m just so pissed off

  Angry, mad and just over it. 

The last few days have gone from pretty shit to completely fucked. 

Thursday night I presented to emergency department with back and stomach pains. Given pain relief, had an X-ray and the doctor pretty much told me I was fine and sent me home after I’d sat there in pain for 7 hours. Gave me a script to fill the next day for relief. 

I never got it filled as my doctor said that it would go through the breastmilk and harm my baby. Apparently that’s not the case. 

So 11pm that night I woke to feed but I was in incredible pain. Took some normal panadol and went back to bed. 1.30 I woke in the worst pain. I’d had a disagreement with the husband that night so I didn’t want to wake him. Yes I know….it got to 2am and I did. 

I needed help. This was insane. We called the ambulance and they drugged me up and off we went. 

I had yet another cannula put in and bloods taken. Another urine test, which as it turns out wasn’t good. Even I could see that. Wee is supposed to be clear, not murky with floaties!

They decided I had a uti and we’re ready to discharge me when urology got on board. 

After many many hours I was sent for a CT scan when they entered a dye and checked all was working. It wasn’t. 

I was admitted. I couldn’t get into surgery that night but possibly Sunday. 

Sunday my amazing urology doctor took care of it. 

I was put under general again. He removed the stents. Once he took them out it all started flowing. The stents had become blocked causing wee to stay in my kidneys. This in turn has caused a massive kidney infection which has grown fungus type particles. Not what you want in your body. 

So once it was all released it started attacking the rest of me. My heart rate, blood pressure and pulse sky rocketed along with my temperature. They have all come back to normal now thankfully.

I’ve been on stupid strong antibiotics for 2.5 days. Strong pain killers. New pains have popped up. And now there’s talk of my liver not functioning properly. Oh and my wee is green! 

I’m so angry that this has happened. 

I’m so angry I can’t use my fucking hand due to cannula placement.  

I’m so angry that I’m not home sharing quality time with my family. 

Im so angry that all the safe medications I’m on are upsetting baby’s stomach. 

And I’m so very tired its crazy. 


My very first KISS

Last night was my first KISS.

My cherry was popped.

It involved 4 men in tight black sequinned clothing with a lot of hair and make up.

And it was SPECTACULAR!!

Fireworks, flames and rock ‘n’ roll. Loud, fast and just completely over the top. I’ve never seen anything like it before, and I’ve been to a heap of shows.

Opening with a huge curtain that I bet they hoped would fall exactly right, then having fireworks and flames shooting out, I knew we were in for a treat. It just didn’t stop. All 1.5 hours of pure rock that brought a smile to everyone’s face. Including mine and I’m not even a fan.

 My husband was beside himself with excitement. He has seen every KISS tour this country has had. He wasn’t missing this one. Our seats were great, right up near the stage, we could almost touch them. Felt the heat from every flame. Mind blowing.

If you ever get the chance, go. See them. It’s defiantly one show you don’t want to miss. Beautiful organised chaos. Next time we take the kids…but first we need to tell them we went without them…


Today just plain sucks

Last night I had 7 whole hours of undisturbed sleep…I know! 7. Whole. Hours. 

This morning I felt great for about 3 seconds until Marshal decided he was hungry before I even got out of bed. Yesterday it was Maverick screaming for breakfast before his eyes were even open. 

We were supposed to meet a friend for a morning play, and after giving Marshal an hour to get his things together, he still could not leave the house. So I cancelled. There were many tears, but he just wouldn’t leave without his toys that he’s put somewhere, and can’t remember where. I can only look for so long. It’s been over 2 hours and he still has no idea where they are. 

I’m currently hiding on the floor of my kitchen in the little alcove.

 Yep I’ve put my tracksuit pants back on as what’s the point getting dressed. 

The boys are somewhere, probably watching TV even after I’ve said numerous times no telly and turned it off more times than I’d like to count.  
I wonder how long I can hide for before they realise after all those biscuits they demolished before (yes again after I said no but got the shits with the screaming and threw them on the floor…sigh) that they are hungry and want lunch….

Another day in paradise…

That was nice…

Time off writing was just what I needed. 

The only thing, I haven’t done anything worth writing about. I’ve put a lot of energy into my little business lately and have been just enjoying time with my boys. 

I’m still in 2 minds as to what direction this blog is going. I love writing about my kids and parenting, but i don’t want that to define me. Then I’m “just a mum” and that’s no fun. I’ve been just a mum for 4 years now…and I’m ready to be more. 

So stick with me while I work this out. Who knows where this will go…