Letting go.

This morning I survived. I survived the last grocery shop with 2 kids. I know, I know. I still after 4 years haven’t gotten online shopping sorted. One day…

Tomorrow Marshal starts preschool. Gulp!!

I keep changing how I feel about it. We made the choice for me to be a stay at home mum and not send our kids to daycare. It just wasn’t worth working for zero take home money after fees. Yes the adult interaction would be nice, but I get that with my mothers group. And there’s no bullshit about deadlines and office politics.

So tomorrow it all comes to an end. I’m feeling my control over my eldest is coming to an end. He’s growing up and it’s scary. But it’s not daycare. It’s preschool. 9am – 3pm. The beginning of his schooling where he will be for the next 15ish years. This does make it a bit easier to let go but it’s still crazy hard.

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I just know I’ll be the mum at the gate ‘now be nice to everyone, try to share, but have fun’. Yes it will be said through tears as my husband drags me away telling me he will be fine.

And he will be fine. He’s great at making friends and being by himself. If they gave him the chance to play with trains all day, he’d be quite happy.

I’ve promised myself not to hang around too long. Get him settled then go. I need to let go and he needs time to work it out for himself. I can’t hold his hand forever…no matter how much I want too.

Plus, this guy will keep me busy all day anyway. He’s going to miss Marshal like crazy too. It’s all he’s known. But the next 2 years he’s all mine then I’ll be back at that gate doing the same thing except saying things like ‘don’t climb too high, no jumping off tables and stop pulling leaves off trees but have fun’.

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