When I got pregnant, I hoped that the father of my baby wouldn’t leave. It was a real fear. My dad left, so why wouldn’t this guy? We hadn’t been together for a very long time, and there was a big(gish) age difference. Would it work?
He didn’t leave and it worked, we got married and we now have 2 kids. I know he’s here for the long haul.
I look at my kids and the admiration they have for their dad. It’s a bond that I will never have with them and I am OK with that.
The baby is almost 9 months and crawls up to daddy wanting to be picked up. Follows him from room to room. Then the smile on his little face when daddy gets home at the end of the day is priceless. It’s nice that the baby can now show affection and let us know what he wants. I think this one will be a daddy’s boy.
The toddler loves his dad. They have, rituals I guess for a better word, that make me smile. In the mornings as dad leaves for work, the toddler stands at the top of the stairs and yells out “bye daddy, I love you!” I think it makes his day to see his boy do this. Then when I am putting the baby to bed at the end of the day, they sit down together and eat ice cream. The toddler must love it, he gets given more ice cream when dad dishes it out. They play music together, and sing songs. Go for walks together and rake leaves. I cannot wait to see what else they will do as the toddler grows up.
Us mums, we whinge how hard it is to parent. I know I do, and due to my husbands work and band commitments, I do the majority of the child stuff alone. It is hard, stressful and sometimes lonely. I even get resentful that he can leave the crying and tears, listen to music (that is not The Wiggles) and have adults to talk too.
But I’ve never really thought of it from the fathers side. It must be awful to leave on a daily basis and not see your kids. To get home some nights when they are in bed, not even a cuddle. To hear second hand of the milestones reached that day, to miss the ‘first’ of things…rolling, crawling, walking. It must be heartbreaking. It must also be hard to know that the responsibility of being the main money earner, sometimes the sole money earner, is yours. It’s a lot to take on. One day it’s just you, the next, you have others to care and worry about.
I know this man isn’t going anywhere. He loves his kids, he loves me and that truly is all you need. He is a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, and that is all we ask. I see the way my boys climb, jump and crawl all over my husband. We are both exhausted ALL the time. There’s broken sleep and not much time for each other. I’m hoping it all changes soon, but right now, I’m sure neither of us would change it for anything.